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The Time I Almost Killed the Ref

The Time I Almost Killed the Ref

I am typically a very quiet and reserved person.

It’s my nature.

Throughout  my life, people have often taken that to mean I am timid and un-passionate.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

When I was a junior in high school, basketball was my life.

I dedicated every waking moment to fulfilling my ‘hoops dream’.

One weekend, I filled in for my dad’s CYO team and we were playing a team that I fiercely wanted to beat.

And this poor ref was making one call after another against us.

I blew my top so to speak.

I charged him.

Teammates had to hold me back.

I told him I was going to ‘kick his ass’.

Totally out of ‘character’ but at the same time it wasn’t.

I have a blinding passion for those things that I love.

Lucky for you, the main thing that I love is inspiring others and helping those people to find their inner strength.

I have dedicated my life to the study of all aspects of ‘human strength’.

If you’d like to enter the world of growth and inspiration that Newell Strength has to offer, then take a chance and enter our Fall Sweepstakes here: http://vyper.io/contests/update/608/1

And yes, by the way, I did calm down after a few minutes of belly breathing and I apologized to the ref after the game once I was back in my ‘human’ brain.

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Why You Must Know ‘Your Edge’

Why You Must Know ‘Your Edge’

Braxton is a daredevil.

When he started to become more mobile a few months ago, we would cringe at first when he came up to a step or edge.

However, he learned very quickly to turn around and go down feet first.

Except for when he saw the dog bed lying there in the living room.  Our dining room and living room are only separated by a small 6 inch drop off; otherwise it’s an open floor space.

Munchie will go up to the part where the dog bed is and he will fall face first into it, knowing full well that the soft bed will break his fall.

Braxton (in case you were unaware, his nickname is Munchie) seems to have developed great depth perception, thus allowing him to know when he is at the top of a case of stairs, a ledge, the edge of the pool, etc.

(As an aside, I partly think this is due to his lack of TV time.  A toddler’s dimensional vision is still developing until roughly the 2-year-old mark.  They cannot distinguish that the shapes on the TV are supposed to be 3-dimensional, often causing problems in depth perception and vision, which can lead to processing issues.  But lets save that for another Mind Map article).

Now I don’t want you to think we just let Munchie roam free without supervision, we are always there watching, waiting if he needs us.  But, his ‘knowing of where the edge is’ has given us peace of mind and has allowed himself to explore and do things that he otherwise wouldn’t be able to do.

So how does that relate to you?  Well, ‘knowing thyself’ is a crucial factor in living a meaningful, on-point life.  And as you know from observing others, self-awareness or a lack thereof is the difference between those that create their own destiny and the common ‘tire-kicker’.

I want you to think of what your limitations are, what you are not good at and start there.  I will use myself as an example, so you can see warts and all but more importantly so you have an example of how this can be applied to your life.

First, I am not good at corralling my many ideas into actionable steps for others to follow.  Ideas pop into my head a mile a minute but ideas are no good if you they aren’t actionable.  I guess that the entrepreneurial blood in me.  But I’ve had to surround myself with a team and coaches that are good and creating step-by-step instructions.

Next one, I am not the best at techie stuff or handy man work for that matter.  I can do both; I can figure them out, but not without some frustration.  And, I know what I value my time at (monetarily in this case) and most of the time it just doesn’t make sense for me to fiddle around with the stuff I am not good at, especially when it causes ‘frustration momentum’.

Thirdly, trying to ‘Coach’ Devon when she doesn’t ask for it.  Guys listen up here; YOU must be given permission to Coach the person, whomever it is.  Otherwise your opinion will be unwelcome and thus it will remain unimplemented.  I violate this rule of Mind Map constantly with Devon and then I have to catch my mistake, apologize and realize it for what it is.  Every time you find yourself telling someone else: you should, you have to, you must; stop and ask yourself internally if they asked for your advice.

Another one; I know that my work will expand to fill the time that I give it.  That is why I must work to the clock when I am in high focus mode.  And when it’s a bit longer term than the immediate moment, I must set deadlines.  Remember this, deadlines are our lifelines.

Finally, and it took me until a few years ago to finally realize this fully, I am an extreme introvert.  Yes, I can function in public and hold a conversation, but when it comes to managing my energy, this knowledge has been HUGE for me.  I recharge by quiet time and being alone.  Parties and such have always drained me, but I have gotten better in social situations because I have given myself time to recharge on other days of the week.

This explained to me why in high school and college I was always begrudgingly going to parties and I would often leave early to go find solitude somewhere.  Weird yes, but I’d rather know myself and be weird than just follow the herd.

There you go, 5 things of my own that I constantly have to be aware of.  Things that are ‘my edge’.  Make a list of 5 things that represent your edge and work on them frequently.  (I don’t mean work on them as in learn how to doing something you aren’t good at, I mean work on them in terms of self-awareness).  Know thyself.

 




Lessons Learned From ‘Hovey’

Lessons Learned From ‘Hovey’

hovey

Hovey!

 

That was my first thought this past Wednesday when I saw 3 people exit a RAV-4 in our development. I happened to be in the back with Munchie, Mateena and Dax.

 

I literally chuckled as the threesome split up and went right to work. The one guy, with satchel across his shoulder, took off to the left. The other man and woman started the other way and their first ‘victim’ was a little old lady that lives across from us.

 

As Munchie was playing in the dirt, fully occupied, I watched the scene across the stress play out as I was fascinated by some Mind Map and business principles at work.

 

Yes, I was getting to reinforce my education without going back to school.

 

The little old lady, a devout Catholic (I remember her from church growing up as a kid), panicked and started yelling something, which froze the man and woman dead in their tracks; and promptly proceeded to head into her house.

 

Little old lady had seen these creatures before.

 

She recognized the Hovey’s instantly and so did I! They were Jehovah’s witnesses, the particular breed that feel its necessary to interrupt people on an otherwise beautiful, sunny, fall day.

 

Now, before I get into my observations, you need to know that if I were still single, my dream life would revolve around being a recluse. I am very, very introverted and very few things set me off like getting stuck in an unexpected social encounter with people I don’t know.

 

Yup, if it were only me, I’d be living up in the mountains in West Virginia or somewhere similar, leaving the house every few weeks for a grocery run and that’d be about it.

 

With that in mind, I observed for about 5 minutes and then gathered the three kids to head into our back door, where we were playing. I saw one of the Hovey’s start down our sidewalk just as we were going in; the race was on!

 

I left Munchie in the basement for a quick second while I sprinted upstairs to shut the front door. Not a second too soon as it rang about 10 seconds later. I played like I wasn’t home, which was probably silly since the man could hear the two large pups that he had just seen outside minutes earlier.

 

Incredibly awkward and draining social interaction averted…

 

To each his own, I don’t care if you believe in a 4-headed Cracken as your savior. What I am interested is the principles at play here.

 

The first one: Why do the Hovey’s come around in the middle of a week day? It’s the least likely time to get the majority of people at home as most are working a 9-5. Is there some kind of weird guilt going on here? The kind like, ‘Lets do it, but not really do it to the best of our abilities, that way we can say we did it.’ Seriously, the only people they are going to ‘trap’ are little old ladies, shift workers and weirdo’s like moi.

 

Second: Essentially what the Hovey’s do when they do this is they preach, very similar to teaching or coaching. And one of Mind Map’s core principles is that ‘You must be given permission to coach’.

 

Otherwise the receiving brain will reject the words coming out of your mouth. As you can see from the little old lady’s reaction, the animal brain in us will react when we a preached to unsolicited because a part of our brain and our EGO holds very dear our beliefs, especially when it comes to things like religion, politics and even food (yes, food and diet).

 

The Hovey’s would ‘do’ much better position themselves as ‘welcome guests’ rather than ‘annoying pests’. (Big business principle here as well).

 

Lastly: The whole premise of Mind Map is that the brain is a pattern recognition machine; = prediction and response, and then repeat. If we are ambushed, we haven’t been able to ‘predict’ and therefore rather than going into response mode we enter into reaction mode.

 

An extreme reaction mode example would be ‘road rage’. Reaction puts us into unpredictable outcomes and irrational thought.

 

If they somehow just announced they would be coming around on such and such a date through some direct mail or something, it would certainly soften the blow.

 

There are lessons and principles everywhere if we are just open to seeing and experiencing them. Let the ‘real world’ be your classroom. Carry on!

 

 




How Zen Buddhism Beats Creative Blocks

How Zen Buddhism Beats Creative Blocks

wyoming_forest

 

Don’t get your panties all in a wad if you aren’t Buddhist. I am talking here more specifically about the philosophy of Zen Buddhism.

 

Ever since I have been following Dan Kennedy, I have been working to the clock, meaning I set a timer and I go. When the timer goes off, I take a quick break and do something else totally unrelated and for the most part mindless (get coffee, pee, do some mobility work for my joints).

 

That alone was a game changer for me personally. But then, recently, I have been hearing a lot about setting the timer to [33:33], whereas I used to set it to 50 minutes. As a quick aside, the mad genius scientist guru Charles Poliquin told me at one of his workshops that he recommends teaching in 20 minute bursts followed by a 10 minute break because he felt that was the longest that the brain could focus in a lecture type setting.

 

Ok, back on track here. And while I knew that a famous copywriter named Eugene Schwarz was the one that popularized [33:33], I didn’t quite know where the number came from. So of course, while listening to a Schwarz interview while on my morning walk with the 3 kiddos this morning, he went into detail about a Zen Buddhist ‘trick’ that allows them to never have writers block.

 

And its all based in routine, because remember from Mind Map, routine is a survival mechanism in itself and routine also allows us to not have to rely on will power, which is a good thing. Will power is very finite and burns up very quickly because that part of the brain (pre frontal cortex) relies heavily on blood glucose for energy, which is limited in supply.

 

So in the east, they make sure they write at roughly the same time of the day, they make sure their pad is in the same spot and the pen is placed in the same starting spot every day (they leave it like this when they are done for the day, which is a lesson in and of itself that we can use in a ton of different areas of life), they get one cup of coffee, swirl it around and then take a sip.

 

And finally, they set the timer to [33:33]. They realize it doesn’t have to be perfect; the idea is to just begin. Now, when the clock strikes [33:33], they stop, even if they are in mid thought, because at that point, something greater than yourself is at work anyway, a deeper part of your brain is running with it. If you lose the thought, you lose it, but don’t worry about it.

 

While you are away for 5 minutes or so, your subconscious brain has been grabbing ideas from the ether and it locking and loading them for when you get to the next [33:33] block of work.

 

I’ll leave with this. Mozart is arguably the most prolific writer of music ever and he never re-wrote anything, everything was paper and ink. How’d he do it? He would write at a billiards table and he would have the white cue ball, the rest of the table was empty. And between each note, he would roll the ball off of one of the cushions and it would bounce off the other two available cushions and back to him.

 

Each time, it would come back at a different angle so he had to pay attention with his human brain but his animal subconscious was developing the next note, which he would jot down and then repeat.

 

Your take away, start working to the clock and then start adding in little things over time like certain pieces of music that help you, etc. Go get ‘em tiger.




Acres of Beans

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Acres of Beans

The other night, Devon was making a few corn on the cobs on the stove. One of the pieces wouldn’t fit in the pot. That in itself is not significant, but it reminded me of the old story where a mother always cuts the ham in half when she cooks it.

 

Her daughter asks her why and she says she doesn’t know, but if they ask grandma, she would know. So grandma says she doesn’t know, so they go to ask great grandma why they always have to cut the ham roast in half before cooking it. And GG says, ‘Oh, I always did that because the ham wouldn’t fit in the cooking dish I had at the time.’

 

We don’t just have to do things a certain way because that’s the way they have always been done.

 

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of, ‘well, I can’t move forward with ‘X’ yet because I don’t know enough yet’. Notice the word ‘yet’. Yet is just our lizard brain trying to keep us in a nice little safe cocoon of the world we currently know.

 

I go through this myself all the time, thinking that there has to be some new thing out there that I have to know. And there isn’t. I have tons of books and DVD’s, CD’s etc. that I haven’t even gotten to yet and many that I have gotten through but that I would be wise to refer back to.

 

Right under my nose there are ‘acres of diamonds’ in terms of a wealth of knowledge and of opportunities that my lizard brain would rather keep me away from, because that’s where the unknown lay.

 

That very same night that she was cooking the corn, Munchie was eating his dinner and he had a few pinto beans left on his tray (organic of course). And as I was sitting there with him, he decided to smash a few of the beans with an open palm. It was Munch being Munch but it made me think of yet another idea.

 

We don’t know where we are going to end up until we get there, at which point it won’t matter anyway because there will be a new ‘end’ and then another and another.

 

But what we have to do is we have to ‘smash the beans’, one at a time. Next thing up, do it. Next thing up after that, do it. And repeat and continue to go on until the Universe responds accordingly and starts matching your efforts and actions with actions and efforts of equal or greater gifts back to you.

 

You have the diamonds, you have the knowledge, you can do things differently and yes, you can smash the beans.




God is the Novelty

God is the Novelty

 MunchieX

“Anything new coming into your life is a message from God….How can you search for it? You don’t know it, you have never met it. One has to start in a state of not knowing, and one has to move innocently like a child, thrilled with the possibilities—and infinite are the possibillites.” –OSHO

 

Novelty is the greatest aphrodisiac. Part of our brains crave something new (the human part) while the mammalian and reptile centers of our brains despise change or the new. It is so much easier for us to play it safe and deceive ourselves into thinking that we need to wait until all the lights are green.

 

Our brains are pattern recognition machines, meaning they need prediction and response to move forward smoothly, but there is something to be said about motion being better than meditation in some instances.

 

If you read the above quotes from OSHO, the great Indian mystic, you will see that he says you cannot know the new directly. The new career path, the new relationship, the new passion. How could we know it before some exploration? It is new and new by its very definition in this sense means that we have not experienced it before.

 

I have talked about syncroncity in many articles and I do believe that when things happen such as messages, conversations, ‘coincidence’ (there is no such thing in my opinion), it is God trying to put us on the right path.

 

We need to trust the process and the path. I am working on a lot of new things in my life, things I never in a million years thought I would be passionate about and no, I do not know exactly how they will unfold. Heck, when I start writing articles I have no idea what is going to come out, I just start with one idea and then I turn the voice off in my head and its go time.

 

Ships are safe in the harbor, but ships were meant to sail. You have a ship, you have a vessel and the clocks a tickin’. Get back to that sense of awe(someness) and wonder that little kids possess. Start dabbling in whatever it is that your gut is telling you to get into. Stephen King didn’t know he would become ‘Stephen King’ back when he was writing novels on his lunch break while he was a public school teacher. He just knew a voice inside him had to be expressed.

 

We all have some majick (I know its spelled wrong on purpose) and uniqueness that we have been suppressing for far too long. The new will bring difficulties, that’s why we choose the old and safe. But no one ever fulfilled their greatness by choosing the old and safe.

 

 




The Importance of Knowing Your Principles

Jump straight to the highlights of todays show right here:

  • Knowing yourself to master life ([2:40] mark)
  • The three words Kyle uses to ‘show up’ everyday ([4:30] mark)
  • ‘The Safe Haven Technique’ and how to use it ([6:40] mark)
  • The importance of knowing your values and principles ([11:30] mark)
  • The uncomfortable reason why many people never grow stronger ([13:00] mark)
  • The truth about where  real happiness ‘actually’ comes from ([14:20] mark)
  • Kyle’s ‘Golden Rule’ ([14:50] mark)
  • Why Perfection is the enemy ([16:15] mark)

Today’s Show

In today’s podcast, Kyle talks openly and honestly about how important it is to know your principles and what it takes to show up as your true self in the world today.

Your Biggest Flaws

Kyle begins by saying everyone has flaws and weaknesses. Its uncomfortable and can be painful

but if we want to prosper and move forward in life, its important that we ask the difficult questions. The best thing you can is ask people who are close to you, ask them to tell you what your unique strengths are and also your flaws.

The ‘Showing Up’ Words

To make sure Kyle is being his true authentic self where ever he shows up in the world, he uses these three key words to live his life through. “Its critical to know the definition of each, so you can cut through the fluff and clutter” Kyle goes on to explain. The safe haven technique talked about in this show teaches you how to make sure you show up with your true intrinsic values in any situation.

The Golden Rule

As well as having values that live and breath through you, having principles to live by is just as vital. Kyle has a great Golden Rule he lives by which he shares with you in today’s podcast.

Growth

Change is challenging. Its uncomfortable because the human brain sees it as threatening. Find out more about your primitive mind and the reasons why you may be finding it hard to grow right now.

Perfectionism

Many people today wont experience true growth because they struggle with being perfect. Perfection is the enemy when trying to achieve absolutely anything that involves progress.

All this and more in todays show.




500 Jump Shots Per Day for Life

In today’s show, Kyle tells you about his burning desire to be the best and the importance of having a plan. The motivating story of his past, going from depression to standing on stage as one of the worlds best natural bodybuilders.

Jump straight to the bits you want to hear:

  • Putting fear in its place ([0:55] mark)
  • Unlocking your true greatness ([1:15] mark)
  • The state of mind for overachieving ([3:10] mark)
  • 500 jump shots a day. Everyday. ([4:05] mark)
  • A sure fire way how to transform your weaknesses into strengths ([8:00] mark)
  • Kyle’s story from depression to the becoming the best natural bodybuilder ([10:20] mark)
  • The journey is more important than the trophy ([13:00] mark)
  • The correct way to use your happiness gauge ([14:00] mark)
  • Becoming your true authentic self ([15:20] mark)
  • Why you must have a plan ([15:40] mark)
  • The 3 ‘F’s’ to overachieve ([16:30] mark)

Have you got a plan or are you just drifting through the motions with no clear goals?

Having a plan is the most important thing and being able to visualise whatever it is your want to achieve. It doesn’t matter what your goal is. A plan thats locked together with a burning desire to succeed is potent. Kyle says its like having ‘rocket fuel’ that  will propel you out of the bell curve of being average and mediocre.

The right track

The purpose of any goal is to increase your happiness, and you can instantly tell when you’re going off on the wrong track because you become unhappy along the journey. Kyle shares his knowledge and wisdom of how he used his happiness gauge to guide him along the right track when he tells you about his inspiring story from the depths of depression to being a stage ready, natural bodybuilding superstar.

Passion

Having a burning desire tied with a solid plan is key. But to be truly passionate about what you’re doing is the only way you’ll find that burning desire. Most people go through the motions or follow the journey of family and friends because they think its the right thing to do. Kyle shares his thoughts on why you’ll never truly succeed.

Having no regrets

A burning desire to achieve any goal only comes when we are trying to be our true authentic self. If you want to look back on your journey and have no regrets and leave your foot print in the sands of the universe, its all about showing your true self. Only then will the desire and the passion truly shine through.

Overachieving

Kyle’s story is an all inspiring one. He was no superior genetically gifted athlete, but the fact that he took two sports and maxed  both his mind and body in the two sports showed his sheer determination to succeed and willingness to over achieve. Going above and beyond what most people would do. Kyle lives by the 3 ‘F’s’ which he shares with you and shows you how you too can become an overachiever.

Key Takeaway Points:

  1. Be passionate about what you want to achieve
  2. Have a solid plan to get you to your goals
  3. Remember happiness is found in the journey along the way
  4. Have no regrets and progressing forward



Do You Get Disgusted with Red Traffic Lights?

Do You Get Disgusted with Red Traffic Lights?

This is the official first post on Unlocking Your Inner Strength, I hope you enjoy it! 🙂

 

“Accept your limitations, accept your imperfections. That’s what it means to be a human being! And accept yourself as you are- with joy, not in helplessness. Because existence accepts you….” –OSHO

 

I love the clarity that a good vacation brings me. While sitting on our porch in the backwoods in Idaho doing my morning reading, I came across a line that has always struck a chord with me: THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

 

And although it also refers the magical moments in life and it’s a very good thing to repeat to yourself before a night out with family or friends or a day at the park with you kid (BE IN THE MOMENT); I will use it here to refer to the obstacles that we will face.

 

There are two types of rose-colored glasses: the ones that make people think nothing will ever get in their way and that every bounce of the ball will go their way and the second kind- knowing the duality of life and that the ying to your yang will arrive, for after all you can’t have peaks without valleys. But with this second kind of rose-colored glasses, you have chosen that you will respond with acceptance to your obstacles.

 

When an obstacle arrives, we have a choice to decide our attitude and not much else at that very moment. And as a quick aside, as we know from Mind Mapping, your thoughts drive your emotions, however, most people have been lead to believe that it’s the other way around.

 

Are you going to look for the silver lining that exists in the inevitable obstacle in your path? Or are you going to ‘wish it wasn’t so’?

 

Let’s say you started out on a business venture or fitness venture and you miscarried the first time around, things didn’t quite go as planned. Does it give you the right to complain and gripe? Certainly it does, but realize that worry is nothing more than wasted energy and these qualities will do nothing to make your life better.

 

Use this analogy because sometimes analogies help us to realize our silliness a little better: Most people view red traffic lights as a nuisance but not much else. What they really are is just a small obstacle in your way from you getting to point A to point B. If every time you came to a red light, you threw your hands up in disgust and undid your seatbelt to get out of the car and walk away from the car, would it make sense?

 

So silly, but the answer is obvious. You will have red lights, you will have green lights, and the duality of life will be there alongside each and every one of us. Winning, losing, tragedy and triumph will be there, guaranteed. We can accept the obstacles in our path and use them to become better. I repeat, you are going to have valley’s and lows, they are coming your way full steam ahead! Accept and acquiesce my friend. I’m glad to be back!

 




Resistance is a Bitch

 

In today’s show, Kyle Newell stands up and gets ready for battle with a force that stands in everyone’s way to greatness. No matter who you are, you will face this at some point but its knowing what to do when it makes its appearance that is key to your success. Kyle shares his thoughts on Resistance and how you can access a higher sphere of development in this short, enlightening episode.
Jump Straight to The Key Parts of The Show:
The three ‘F’s that will help create a full life for you ([2:00] mark)
What is Resistance and when will it make its appearance? ([2:40] mark)
Ideas and Thoughts are the easy bit ([5:00] mark)
Being Stupid to grow to a higher sphere ([6:00] mark)
Theres no such thing as impossible ([7:10] mark)
The Mother of all Skills ([8:15] mark)
‘The Dip’ and your lowest point ([9:00] mark)
The Fear of perfectionism and how it halted Kyle in his tracks ([9:45] mark)
How Indiana Jones uses blind faith to succeed ([10:30] mark)
Inspiration: Michael Jackson’s 3AM wake up call ([11:20] mark)
How to be the knight in shinning armour and use resistance as your tool to success ([13:00] mark)
Why most people never succeed and how everyone is hard wired for negativity ([13:10] mark)
Be Ready For Battle
Its a force you can’t avoid. It stands in the face of all of us – whether we like it or not. When you’re trying to go from a low sphere to a higher sphere of development, resistance will show its face. Its going to try its best to throw you off track. Use resistance as your ‘guiding compass’ Kyle says. If you’re feeling resistance, you’re on the right path.
Ideas Are Easy
Kyle tells us why its never the ideas or the thoughts you have that make something ‘hard’. Its actually being able to sit down and take action thats the hardest part.
Be Stupid
Remaining stupid in your quest for greatness is crucial. Kyle tells us his inspiring story about not knowing whats around the corner, and if he knew the steps he’d taken already in his own life, he’d have run to the hills and passed up the opportunity.
Impossible
You’ve got to believe and realise that you can accomplish great things. On your path to greatness, you’re going to come across people that tell you its going to be impossible. Kyle shares his method for flipping this statement round and using it to your advantage.
The Mother Of All Skills
Repetition, repetition, repetition. Realise that you CAN learn any skill and its simply going to take time. You’re going to be bad at first but if you push through the resistance and keep going, you’re going to come out the other side on a higher sphere. Kyle shares his all time favourite books to success and pushing through the resistance or ‘the dip’.
Blind Faith
Just like in the Indiana Jones Movie, you too have to take the leap of faith and step off the bridge in front of you. Kyle shares his own experience why he thinks the time is now. Inspiration is always looking for someone to work through and if you pass up the opportunity presented in front of you, you’re going to miss out.
“You should never be waiting for all the lights to be green before you start”
There is no perfect time and your time is now.