Achieve (24)


Dogs Don’t Bark at Parked Cars

I learned early on in business that as we accumulated more success, especially in the fitness field, we were going to have a lot of haters.

I recorded this podcast the week after we opened Newell Strength despite the stay at home orders.  It was a magical week but by week’s end many trolls and Karens were on social media trying to blast me. 

I say ‘trying’ because it has and will never have an effect on me.  Someone else’s opinion of me is none of my business (read that again, it’s so simply it often floats over the top of people’s heads). 

If I was living passively, no dogs would be barking at me, we’d all be smelling the same grass.  

Take a listen and let me know what you think.  www.newellstrength.com/single-post/2020/06/30/Dogs-Dont-Bark-at-Parked-Cars

 

Be Unconventional – Kyle Newell

 

P.S-My new book is finally out on Amazon.  It’s all things fasting, from my point of view.  If you want a world class tutorial and ‘how to’ with my system of fasting, then you pick up a copy of  the book.  And if you like it, please leave a review.  https://www.amazon.com/Panda-Diet-Unconventional-Approach-Lasting/dp/0578687372/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=kyle+newell&qid=1592831921&s=books&sr=1-2

 

P.P.S-Now that we are taking new clients once again, we are opening the doors for July to 12 new trial members.  This is just what the doctor ordered for you if you’ve been locked in, with little outdoor time, not enough physical activity and not enough fun.  You can apply for a spot at this link and Coach Dana will be reaching out to you.  https://hillsborough.newellstrength.com/jumpstart




A Real Life Hero

As we head into Memorial Day weekend, I wanted to reflect on my living grandfather, Leo.  

Yes, he is the same man that I watched Raw Deal with in yesterday’s email.

Leo is a world war 2 vet, and as you know, there aren’t many of them left.  He is still sharp as ever, still strong as ever and a real inspiration for me.

His dad, my great grandfather, was an Italian Immigrant that earned his U.S. citizenship by fighting in WW1.  

I always reflect on my grandfather as we celebrate both Memorial Day and 4th of July.  He fought for our freedoms and way of life.  

Thank you Pa! 

And if there’s anyone in your life that sacrificed to give us freedom that you know of, please give them a big thank you from me.  

Happy  Memorial Day weekend!

 

Be unconventional – Kyle Newell

 

P.S-We will be up and running soon.  Some of you have been reaching out about the annual Fat Shredder contest.  We will be doing it, and are aiming to start in the beginning of June.  More details to come!




Check it Out!

Back in early March, Cori Burd came in to interview for one of our 6 sweepstakes spots.

He was timid and lacked confidence.  

Believe me, he’d agree with that assessment.

Well, he was selected.  

And because of circumstance and the unforeseen global lockdown, the others had to put their experience on hold.

Cori though, he didn’t flinch.  In fact, he ramped up his efforts.

You have two types during this.  

Those that turned into ‘Homer Simpson’ and those that saw it as an opportunity to challenge and grow into a superior version of themselves.  

Cori chose the latter.

The man is down damn near 40 pounds.  He could have waited and began after things were back to normal.

But Cori knew that if you wait until all the lights are green to GO, then you’ll die without ever having really lived.

Let Cori’s inspired action inspire you to grow.

 

Be unconventional – Kyle

 

1- The Fat Shredder is coming!  Realistically it’ll probably start at some point in the backside of May and run until the 4th of July weekend.  Here’s all you have to do for now: start thinking of your teammates. Each team will have at least a member, non-member and one woman (teams of 3).  It’s gonna be epic and just what we all need at that time:) 

 

2-I am opening the doors to the second Panda Challenge, which will be starting within the next 3 weeks.  The first 12 ‘Panda’s’ are crushing it and dare I say, all 12 are on track to hit their 45-day goals! Yes, I only take 12 because of the high level of Coaching each client receives.  5 of the spots are already taken from people that just missed the cut for the first Panda Challenge. If you’d like to find out more info and at least throw your name in the ring for me to decide if you’re a good fit, then go here: https://hillsborough.newellstrength.com/step_1

 




At Last, 2 Things That You Do Have Control Over

For the past 2-3 weeks, you’ve been hearing a lot about the things that you don’t have control over.  

You haven’t been provided with much clarity on when this will come to an end.

And that lack of clarity will lead to a stress response, in this case, freeze mode. 

Well, I have good news.  

I want to direct your attention to the two things that you  always have control over; your effort and your attitude.

Yup, no matter what is going on in the outside world, you can control  your inner world through effort and attitude.

Throw the past few weeks out as learning experiences and decide right now how  you are going to work on your effort and attitude moving forward. 

 

You got this!

Be unconventional – Kyle

1- The Fat Shredder is coming!  Realistically it’ll probably start at some point in the backside of May and run until the 4th of July weekend.  Here’s all you have to do for now: start thinking of your teammates. Each team will have at least a member, non-member and one woman (teams of 3).  It’s gonna be epic and just what we all need at that time:)




Letters to the Boys: Clarity Conversations

Boys, muchachos, hope this finds you in a positive state of being.

 

Today’s topic is an important one, one that will no doubt be the key to all relationships in your life.

 

You know from hearing me talk about Mind Map and the quality of your mindset that a lack of clarity will cause us to go into a threat state.  When we feel threatened, emotion rises up and we are quick to go into a reactive mindset.

 

Rarely, if at all, does anything positive come out of a reactive mindset.

 

Clarity is the key to all forward progress.  Remember, it doesn’t matter how big each step is, it only matters which direction you are taking your steps in.

 

Allow me to first discuss how a lack of clarity in any relationship will cause a divide.  Let’s say it was your mom and I.  If a concern came up and we didn’t’ discuss it, what happens is that I would begin to think one way about it and mom would begin to think about it another way.

 

Overtime, we add different layers of complexity to the thought and momentum builds.  The problem usually comes into play when we can see that momentum of thought has been building for each of us, but, in the opposite direction.

 

Whereas in the beginning it may have only been a millimeter apart, over time that gap can widen to a proverbial mile.  Many times, it’s tough once a relationship reaches this point to recover.  It can be done, but it takes work.

 

A relationship is much better off starting from the truth and gaining clarity.

 

So, how does one deal with this?  First, you must realize that a lack of clarity usually comes about because of a fear of conflict or confrontation.

 

Every single thing the brain does is through a frame of survival.  At an animal level, if I thought you were going to disagree with me and I were like most people, I wouldn’t say anything because my subconscious fears a physical threat, because in any physical threat, the chance for survival goes down.

 

It’s just like in public speaking, people fear public speaking because the brain views judgment as a HUGE threat to survival.  Once you realize it for what it is, the fear loses its power.

 

There is great wisdom in the saying, ‘The truth will set you free’.

 

In any relationship, all progress starts from the truth.

 

If you realize that you can’t logically have a calm conversation, then you are to wait and approach the topic at the appropriate time, preferably after you’ve taken a walk and told the other person that you’d like to have a clarity conversation.

 

Once the other person knows that they are going to be having a clarity conversation at a specified time, the risk of them feeling judged and ambushed is greatly diminished.  Remember, there are at least two sides to every relationship.

 

It’s all well and good if you have a calm and clear focus but if the other person doesn’t know it’s coming, they are going to be emotional and reactive and the divide will only grow.

 

Once you set up this conversation, lead with the truth.  The truth is not good or bad, it’s just the truth.

 

People generally respect the truth, as much as it may cause pain at times.  But a web of lies and half-truths will only lead to more pain as the story about the experience gets more diluted.

 

Set boundaries for the conversation so there is further clarity about how this will go down.  I have found that I will talk first or vice versa, then the other will have their uninterrupted time, works very well.

 

This is not a debate, it’s setting both minds straight through the scope of truth and clarity.

 

No one likes confrontation, it’s human nature.  However, conflict unresolved is 10X more powerful than if we actually talk about it.

 

Man up boys, man up.




The Winner’s Mindset: Competitive Spirit

The Winner’s Mindset: Competitive Spirit

 

When I first started to compete in bodybuilding, I did it just to compete, for the experience.

 

And as most things go in life, I got the seed planted in my head that more is better.  A joyful experience turned into one of external circumstances, which never ends well.

 

As the years went on, I learned to savor the process of competition and getting ready.  The day of the show was just a celebration.

 

In 2007, I had won my first show and one week later I was competing in a bigger show that I had already done numerous times.  I thought this was going to be my year to win that show.

 

Well, at the weigh-ins, I saw a competitor who would later become a good friend, and I knew that there was no way I could beat him.

 

He was a professional caliber athlete and later did turn into an IFBB pro.  Yet, I wasn’t disappointed.  I had enjoyed the process of being the best I ever was up to that point.

 

Up on stage, I gave it everything I had and it was an honor to go against such competition.  My spirit was enhanced, I was inspired.

 

Which begs the question: what is the point of competition?  Is it win, lose or draw?  Yes and no.  The only person you are competing with is yourself. There are certain ways to express the human spirit, the main ones being: sport, art and music.

 

Competition should inspire you.  If you aren’t growing from the spirit of competition, then you are going about it wrong.  If you are measuring your worth by whether or not you won first place, then joy will be short lived.

 

Yes, you should want to win.  Heck, I want to be a killer every time I compete in something.  To honor competition requires such a mindset of ‘finish’.  Don’t take your foot off the pedal. Give it your all and leave nothing in the tank.

 

All of the mini-competitions you have just part of the bigger game of life.  Life, however, is a game that cannot be won.  Once you win, you must set new targets or risk dying a slow death of mediocrity.

 

Every expression of the human spirit must enhance oneself.  Every time I make writing a chore and start to think that my writing worth is what others think, I am no longer writing for the joy of writing. And I burn out, I no longer get lost in the process and the expression of creativity.  It becomes something else.

 

You need something or someone to compete against, so honor that entity.  Games are supposed to be fun and a game can only exist when you have someone to play against.

 

Feel the ups and downs of competition but realize that they don’t define you.  Competition is just a way for us to experience some of the flavorful emotions of life.

 

It’s about what you learn on the journey and who you are being on that journey.

 

And remember, it’s all your path.




Letters to the Boys: Walk a Mile in My Shoes

I hope you boys are following along with all of these principles.

 

While adding your own spice to make them your own, of course.

 

And I do realize that advice not asked for is advice that will be rejected.  So, I am glad that you are reading this at your own accord.

 

Ok, let’s get into what’s on my mind today.  That shoe was my very first baby shoe.  Braxton, you actually found it at Gigi and Pop-pop’s house one evening.

 

Funny enough, the sight of the shoe inspired this writing.  You never know where inspiration is going to come from, so always ‘be open’.

 

Now, to get to the point.

 

You cannot walk a mile in my shoes, nor can I walk a mile in your shoes.  Yet, we must do as best we can to understand that everyone is fighting their own inner battles.

 

The stuff that you take for granted are the things that other people are praying and wishing for.

 

You never know when a smile or a text message is going to change the course of someone’s day.  This is the principle of being the bumble bee.  As you know, I have a bumble bee tattooed on my arm as a constant reminder to always show up.

 

You guys have to be the change you want to see.  You guys have to be the person that can brighten any dire situation.

 

Since you cannot literally walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, don’t think that you can know why they reacted the way they did or why they took a certain action.

 

People’s actions probably will not make much sense to you and that’s because we each have our own unique thought patterns and temperaments.

 

Remember that judgment never does anyone any good.  Even if you are the judge, you may think that you are high and mighty, but the energy level of judgment is low on the scale of consciousness.  Judging can only bring you down, just as gossip will.

 

People are doing the best they can with what they have.  This means that people learned differently as they grew up and those patterns created certain neural highways that became their patterns.

 

Everyone is at a different level of development and on a different path.  No one wants to make mistakes or disappoint others, so don’t react as if other people’s actions were intentionally done to make your life more difficult.

 

Don’t sweat the small stuff and remember that it’s all small.

 

In life, have no hurries and no worries.

 

Be the role model, have an impact.

 

I love you boys and I am proud of you for taking action to better yourselves.




How to lift a mental fog




Turns Out Abe Lincoln Was Right

Turns Out Abe Lincoln Was Right

No one on the face of the earth, in the history of earth, has escaped a battle with their own demons.

 

If a real transformation occurs from the inside to the outer world, then it only makes sense that our biggest battles are fought on the inside as well.  Not on the outside against some grim rival or cantankerous enemy.

 

In 2008, I was out in So Cal for an extended period of time.  I had planned out going out to internship with the University of California-Irvine Anteaters (yes that’s their real school mascot).

 

If I hadn’t made my vision clear to those around me, the opportunity to house sit in beautiful Laguna Niguel wouldn’t have found me.  The universe works in mysterious ways like that, but I don’t want to get too far off track here.

 

I was just coming off a bodybuilding show, dating a girl that had broken up with me and then came crawling back and had just finished my second year of teaching.  I was offered the head strength coaching job at Bridgewater Raritan Regional High School, which I turned down because it wasn’t in alignment with my vision at that point.

 

Anyhow, I was getting those vibes from this chick again that something was off.  And to make it worse, I was getting those vibes that day before I was leaving for a month.

 

Sure enough, on day 1 out in So Cal, I got the phone call that she was ending it.

 

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

 

She had fooled me twice.  The signs were there.  But they were there with all the other 8 or so relationships I had been in prior to that as well, yet I ignored them.

 

So, alone in a foreign land, I fell into a deep funk.  I only had 1 or 2 books with me because I had decided that I didn’t have to be a voracious reader that summer, another big mistake.

 

And the only reason that sticks out in my mind is because the first thing I tried to turn to to help me were my books, only to realize that I only had 2 measly books in my bag.

 

I do recall one of those books was Brian Tracy’s ‘Goals’.

 

I tried to force myself to read it, but I was sinking into freeze mode fast.   Reading a page or two was a bear.

 

But I stuck with it for that week.  I would get up late, mope around, make a late breakfast (this was pre-intermittent fasting) and ride my bike 4 miles down to the beach.

 

The sun-light helped a little.

 

However, something I read in that book finally ‘clicked’ with me that made me realize I was in a pattern in my life of seeking out the wrong type of partner.  It was at that moment that I realized that until I recognized the pattern fully, that I would continue to repeat it.

 

Different face, same pattern, over and over.

 

What was that pattern?  I would date girls that I found physically attractive, yet they all seemed to have family issues and all seemed to be coming off of relationships.  And the blow of death from all of them seemed to go something like this: ‘You are the nicest guy I’ve ever met.  But you are too nice for someone like me’.

 

And each time, I would play the ‘what-if’ game with myself.  What if this, what if that?…Each time I felt as if I had to change my inner-being to be more a ‘bad-boy’ finally find happiness.

 

Well, there are two mistakes there: 1) No one nor no thing can bring you happiness.  Happiness is an internal game and 2) You cannot and should not change your BEING for someone else.

 

It was on that beach, sitting on the grassy knoll with a cliff on each side that I ‘got it’.  I literally started talking to myself, saying, ‘I love who I am as a person.  I really do.  I am a great person and I am done trying to change for anyone.  F-that.’  And I kept repeating it.

 

Then I took out the only blank notebook I had and wrote like a mad man.  I wrote out my thoughts and I wrote out what I knew in my heart at that moment would be the perfect match for me in terms of a partner.

 

I made up my mind that I could be as happy as I wanted to be.

 

This was pre-Mind Map days for little old me, so I wasn’t armed with the knowledge to know what was happening inside my head, but I knew it felt right.

 

Lucky for you, I am going to break it down here for you so that you too can see that you can make up your mind to be as happy as you want it to be.

 

A little Mind Map science here…

 

The brain is hard-wired for the negative.  It is hell bent on survival, first and foremost.  It is also the superior pattern-recognition machine.

 

This means that it craves order in the form of prediction-response, prediction-response and so on.  If it is not in this state, then it is in a state of reaction.  And when in a state of reaction, we are usually not in a state of happiness.

 

Now the two animal brains, the reptile and the mammal, have certain needs.  They are in line with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: physical needs (food and sex), connection, experience, relationships, etc.

 

Those two older parts of the brain literally have to be happy before we can move forward with our human brain, otherwise they will keep taking over until their needs are met or there is clarity within them.

 

Really, it’s the mammalian brain.  This is the region of the brain where connection and bonding occurs via a structure known as the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC for short).  If something is off in the mammal brain, we can usually rest assured that there is a relational issue and many times it’s connected to judgment and/or your environments.

 

Why those two things?

 

Well, the animal brains perceive things differently than the newer, human brain does. The most stressful time of the day for the human body is in the morning upon waking.

 

Going from an unconscious environment to a conscious environment; sleeping to waking.  This the reason that the main stress hormone, cortisol, spikes upon waking.  The hormones duty is to alert us to our environments, form predictions quickly so that we can form responses.

 

Now, most of the times, we are waking up in safe beds, and we don’t have to perform a mental inventory of our physical environment.  But, the brain is very, very sensitive to your environments and this means that most of the time it’s the people within your environments, be it at home, at work or in social settings.

 

Judgment is also critical to the older brains.  If I took you back thousands, hundreds of thousands or even millions of years, when humans traveled in packs and tribes, the kiss of death for you would have been judgment, negative of course, from the tribe.  Why?

 

Because if you were judged, you were moved to the outside of the pack, where the predators roam.  And if you really were judged, you were kicked out of the group and your chance for survival plummeted (this judgment is piece is the real reason that most people are so petrified of public speaking).

 

Without going too deep into the brain, I want you to realize that just having this knowledge can be enough to course correct for happiness.  Recognizing whom or what is causing the issue (don’t worry about fixing it yet) is usually enough to take a big step towards happiness.

 

Until we see the pattern, like I did back at the old So Cal beach, we will be in reaction mode, which remember a few paragraphs back, reaction usually means a lack of a state of happiness.

 

Ok, this is the BIG takeaway I want to get across.  Your thoughts drive your emotional state, not the other way around.

 

Yet, we have been led to believe that we can’t control our thoughts, so we get emotional and we let those drive our thoughts.  The problem with that is that the emotional centers of the brain the logical, human parts are like functional opposites.

 

When emotions are high, logic goes out the window.  When we are overly analytical and in our ‘engineers’ brain, then emotions are diminished.  When we are in a funk, we need to know that our thoughts are driving it but because of the emotional state we are in, the thoughts will be blown out of proportion, they wouldn’t make sense to our rational self if we were able to observe from the outside.

 

Ever wonder how things could be so bad for someone to commit suicide?  Well, now you know.  They’ve been digging a hole of deep, dark emotions for some time before they reach that point.

 

The brain will always answer any question you ask of it.  So, when in a funk, ask, ‘What’s great about this problem?’  You will come up with an answer that can move you forward.

 

Think clearly, take a breath and then you will realize that old Abe was right when he said, ‘We are about as happy as we make our minds up to be.’

 

Click Here to to Listen to a Closed Door Nutrition Workshop I did for the Local Police




I’m Training the Mind While He is Training the Muscle

On Christmas eve, two of my brothers, Budgy and Suga, and I did an early morning workout with a stand-in for our missing brother, Presh.  The stand-in just happened to be the deputy mayor, Greg.

 

Anywho, we were teasing Presh after the workout as to why he didn’t make it, as it is rare, after all, to have all 4 boys home in Hillsborough at the same time.

 

Presh marches to his own beat.

 

In one of the group texts, Suga Shane told him that we even trained some biceps at the end of the workout, which is a rarity in any of my workouts because it doesn’t really fit in with my general philosophy of training (refer to today’s podcast episode for more nitty-gritty on this).

 

Presh responded that he doesn’t train arms (he makes for a good student, ha).

 

I told him I don’t train arms either, I train the mind through any arms training that I do.

 

Most people totally miss the boat when it comes to training.  Yes, we want to keep the body healthy and pumping full of lymph fluid and we want to make the heart stronger to name of few.

 

But…exercise greatly affects the brain in ways that no drug can.

 

A second but; besides that, most people miss the reverse engineering of training to change the brain.

 

For example, we used our one set of biceps after a brutally hard leg workout to train the brain.  It was an empty 45-pound bar and the rule was, 100 reps, no putting the bar down.

 

Few men actually do all 100-reps or can make it without putting the bar down.

 

It’s the mind that fails in those cases, not the body.

 

You see, I use sets like that to train for mental toughness.

 

Every time in life that you can make the fire and heat a little hotter, you will make the steel of your spirit tougher.

 

Don’t miss the opportunities.

 

If you are looking for a great opportunity to turn up the heat, then check out or pass along this application for our $99, 30-day Anti-resolution program.  https://goo.gl/forms/uZned6p4A4oT0na32

 

 

Think differently – Kyle Newell

23